Why some toxic relationships last?

I have been looking at relationships of everyone I know personally including mine which has its own twists & turns. One thing I always wondered how come some toxic relationships where both or one person is unhappy, being abused, suffering is still not walking out of the marriage or relationship. what is holding them together? and on other hand I know of couples who have children, investments together would part ways. What changed that they took those steps?

#couplegoals. This hashtag is seen on all couple pictures be it celebrities, married, engaged or in a relationship. What is presented is a superficial “couple goal” that keeps one wanting to achieve & to gain some validation & proving to society, I really have no idea how much to self.

There is an unspoken goal which keeps any relationship going. Some of them are very simple & strong like “no matter what this marriage is for eternity or till we die“ – no matter what says everything. ‘Financial comfort’ is another strong one in present time. Both partners know that leaving this relationship will cost them more financially & the effect of it on their life would be difficult to deal with.

‘Comfort of being treated that way/this is love‘ – in many relationships, including some of mine. It had become a comfort of being mistreated or looked liked its love. Both partners feel that its an expression of love or this is how it should be & its right.

For kids sake, For society & I am sure there are many more unspoken & spoken #couplegoals which holds on to a relationship & makes an outsider wonder how come this is still lasting. Earlier i would have spoken to them & asked them to relook at their relationship & at present its a knowing that “its working for them when it would stop working for either on of them, that person would seek help or call it off.” It does take courage to take those steps especially when a relationship has strong connect. Yet, the person takes it as now their Life/Relationship goal has changed.

If you would have seen couples who are happy & prospering they do have their #couplegoals too just the ones that contributes to their happiness. Each couple has theirs. What are yours? After multiple failed relationships i have started to see what is long term future & goal does this person looks for in a relationship & do we match & how much? Its set in for a failure when one wants to have a stronger bond & another a superficial connection. One looks at spirituality & another one strongly into religion (mine is best). These are some core values that defines us as a person & also contributes to having a base in any relationship. Hope you do take sometime to reflect at what are your core values in life, relationship? What is keeping you together? What could be a breaking point?

What are your spoken & unspoken #couplegoals? do drop in a comment for us to read. Love Jaanvi Tourani

#redflagsinrelationship #couplegoals #secrettolastingrelationship #toxicrelationship #relationshipdynamics