Introduction to Inner child

The inner child in other terms known as the unconscious/subconscious part of you that has experienced & remembers both good & bad aspects of life.

The inner child is formed the day you were conceived a few seconds back. An Inner Child can often recall being loved, feeling happy, playfulness, fun, praises, bonding with family, abandoned, rejected, neglected, shame, beatings & traumatic experiences.

Our subconscious mind is a storehouse of memories and experiences. We build beliefs based on our experiences. When a similar event is repeated several times, a particular belief is formed and becomes our guiding path. When we begin to notice our internal patterns and conversations, we are led to our inner world, and when we explore this inner world, we are led to all of the memories and experiences that contributed to this exterior world. Our outer environment mirrors our inner world and vice versa.

The inner child not only retains past feelings and experiences but also hopes and desires for the future. During a crisis, our goals and dreams keep us going.

From 0 – 7 years a child is very susceptible to suggestion. Our brain waves cycle from alpha (meditating) to theta (hypnotic) – during this age a child is self-discovering & learning. Everything gets stored in the subconscious mind which then becomes a base or guiding path in shaping our perspective of the world, how we perceive ourselves, how we treat & allow others to treat us in a relationship, what we can achieve or not in life. These beliefs set our limitations which we take as “fate”, “no matter how much I try things don’t change.” Work on these beliefs & set yourself free from these limitations.

What we hear from our parents as children becomes our inner voice as adults, and it persists until death unless we learn to unlearn it.

Examine what your parents or caregivers have told you about yourself, life, money, relationships, what you can and cannot do, and what you are or are not capable of.

An Inner Child frequently recalls being loved, feeling happy, playfulness, fun, compliments, family bonding, abandonment, rejection, neglect, shame, beatings, and traumatic experiences.

Write down everything, for example, I was told that I am not good enough and I will never be successful in my work.

· Women in our family do not earn money unless they are in a crisis.

· Women must make sacrifices in relationships.

· It is common for men to abuse women.

Then there are inferences that are not spoken but we understand and believe based on other people's actions and the outcomes of & our own behaviours.

Ex: I will only be loved if I listen to my parents & do something for them.

· My sibling is more loved than me. I am an unwanted child.

· I have to prove to myself that I am worthy of love.

· Throwing tantrums to get attention from my parents.

· I must be a responsible child to show my parents I am better than my sibling.

· Constant need to prove you are better than others, this shows up in every aspect of your life.

· Thinking about yourself is selfish.

What have you been hearing? What have you believed? How have these affected your life?

When we start believing in these thoughts & we give them ownership of our life, they start controlling us & shape our life unconsciously.

Many emotionally abusive parents fail to see their child as a separate individual who has their own ideas, dreams, emotions & identity. They project their dreams & expectations on them, desiring the child to fulfil their dreams so that they could feel good about themselves. It’s a way of using a child to fulfil all their dreams or their parents' dreams in some cases which they weren’t able to fulfil.

Unresolved traumatic experiences of a parent can get triggered by their own child. When they are triggered they resort to verbal, emotional or physical abuse as a defence mechanism & to shut down their trigger. Sometimes they regret their behaviour & are helpless as they don’t know what the root cause of this behaviour is.

As I say “wounded parents create wounded children.”

These childhood abuses affect an individual in many aspects of life, not just when they are growing up, but also in adulthood until they die if they are not resolved.

You can watch here: Innerchild webinar for free

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